The Great Swine Strategy 2: The Rethink

It just keeps getting better, but only in a sarcastic way.

So there was the great rethink of our wonderfully bright Kingdom's swine flu strategy. Where all the decision makers got themselves together in a one-off attempt to do their jobs. Bravo. Pause for applause. And it was at this meeting of the 'minds' that it was decided to stagger the opening of schools. According to the GDN:

All secondary schools will stay closed until October 4, intermediate until October 11, primary until October 18 and kindergartens and special needs centres until November 1.

This new schedule of brain-numbing stupidity comes after a senior WHO (not the band) representative declared that keeping schools closed 'is not an option'. In fact, instead of doing any good, it would seem that delaying the inevitable until a season where oink-cough will spread more rapidly is irresponsible in the extreme. Let not this bother our decision makers though, for they have decided. God forbid we, y'know, listen to some advice. Naah. We know better. All the other countries are doing it wrong. They're stupid. They probably don't even know what a full-option S-class looks like. We on the other hand, we know our shit.

And it gets better (again, sarcastically). Much, much better. Apparently, this latest 'step' was taken to "safeguard the return of pupils to classes, particularly vulnerable groups such as young children and to alleviate pressure on the country's health services". Allegedly. But the Ministry of Health, the people charged with cleaning up the messy pandemic, have made it clear that they disagree with this decision. So, I wonder, aloud: who made this decision? Neither the WHO nor the Ministry of Health. In fact, both of these organizations, the very same institutions that logic would dictate have the most qualified opinions on this matter, disagree with our latest 'strategy'.

Now, if there was a meeting that was attended by the ministries of Health and Education and had some input from the WHO, and two of the aforementioned parties are against the new 'plan', logic dictates that the one remaining party is the party responsible. So, by using regression analysis and a bit of coin tossing, we come to the conclusion that the Ministry of Education is now Bahrain's foremost authority on health matters. And pandemics. Who would have guessed?

Whatever. This is getting old, quickly. It's clear that we have no idea, not even a faint sniff of a clue, how to handle anything that resembles a problem. Who cares who gets the blame? WHO doesn't. They offered us their advice and we roundly dismissed it. But to tell us that this plan is somehow in the best interests of the children and a responsible approach to alleviating pressure on health services when it clearly is not, well thats just a cheap lie.

Apparently the logic is that its better to be safe than sorry. Seriously, these were the words that were uttered to the GDN by an unnamed Ministry of Health official who, like anyone else with sense, thinks this plan is stupid. But is it better to be safe than sorry now and a whole bunch sorrier later because we were stupid before in a pathetic, ill-advised attempt to be safe?

The strategy, and I use the term in it's loosest form, seems to involve nothing more that thumb-twiddling until the great western vaccination is so kindly sold to us for a brutal profit. Some people, myself included, assumed that the first batch of vaccinations would be used to immunize the little kiddies before they got sent into their educational petri dishes, because of how they're high-risk, and, well, little kiddies. Perhaps then we would be able to find a nugget of logic in this series of absurdities. But no. Not a chance.

It seems that the first batch, all 40,000 doses of this entirely unproven elixir of hope, have been allocated for the pilgrims. Two doses each (even though from what I've read , only one is required) for 15,000 haaj-goers. My math is a little rusty, but what happens to the other 10,000? Mmm. I wonder. Vaccinate Important Persons perhaps?

Let it be. If someone wants to be my guinea pig, hooray for me.

If we're still playing the prevention game lets stop people entering the country. That'll help a bit. And while we're at it, close the malls. We should've cancelled eid, but it's too late now. Cinemas are a bit tight, so they're gone. Cafes too. And eateries. And public transport, because that's rather popular. And gyms. And supermarkets. Let's not let a silly thing like logic get in the way. Hell, why not just close Bahrain 'until further notice'.