The Great Swine Strategy

Idiots.

We've all heard about Bahrain's incredibly retarded swine flu strategy. Y'know, the one with the schools. If a student goes and gets all infected, the whole school will be shut down for one whole week. And if ten percent of students get sniffly, the school will be shut down for a week.

How the hell could this 'plan' feasibly work? Seriously... think about for a minute or two. What the flu that has barely anything to do with swine lacks in severity it more than makes up for in virulence. The statistics that are spewed about with reckless abandon in our media lead us to believe that a fairly respectable percentage of Bahrain will end up being part of this annoyance of a pandemic. I reckon, had they thought about it and, y'know, consulted with anyone who reads, they would have come to the conclusion that the probability of at least one student from every school in Bahrain contracting oink-sniffles is very close to 1.

And now, after five schools have been shut down in about four days, they're discussing a 'rethink' of their strategy. A rethink implies they thought about this strategy in the first place. Which begs the question: How utterly stupid are they?

Perhaps, if anyone really cared about the oink-cough, we would have pretended to give a shit beforehand. Nah. It was inevitable. We can whine and moan and bitch and scream and wear utterly pointless masks that allegedly increase the chance you'll get something, but instead of really doing anything about anything the only thing our government managed to accomplish was, well nothing. Unless you count parliaments attempt to ban the import of pork. That would've saved us all. Muppets.

I cant wait for the new 'strategy'. Maybe they'll make everyone who gets sick huddle in the corner while the healthy point and them and make pig noises. The shame will banish the illness to less proud parts of the world. Maybe the police will roam about the streets, impounding everyone who sniffles. Maybe, just maybe, they'll say that it is illegal for expats to leave their homes, because this disease is a foreign, expat disease. Bahrainis would never play a part in spreading something so unfashionable. Never. It is worthy of note that all five schools that have been closed are international, private schools. Bahrain's public institutions would never be host to a disease named after a filthy animal. Never.

Morons. Bahrain has hosted its fair share of nasty flu in the past. We, as a nation, are demographically prone to get whatever illness is annoying the planet and there is nothing we can really do about it. Sit back, relax and when the sniffles arrive, blame parliament. Why? Because they're probably blaming you. And because they honestly believed that banning pork imports would save us all.