The New Bahrain

They're at it again. The officials who think they can do whatever the hell they want to do under the guise of progress and morality have started a 'crackdown' on hotels violating tourism laws. But, according to the only information us plebs are allowed to know, the crackdown follows 'a new set of by-laws regulating hotels' operations''. Which, to my admittedly simple mind, sounds like they just made up a whole bunch of new laws and immediately set about prosecuting offenders. 

And that is just not fair. And it is definitely not Business Bloody Friendly either. And its about as far away from progress as you can get. 

These 'measures' (newspeak for draconian punishment) are being implemented in the name of 'family tourism' - an oft-used term that has yet to be officially defined. Hotels violating the 'new set of by-laws' will face penalties and even closure, according to Bahrain's self-appointed sensei of censorship, morality and the common good. 

They spoke of it last week and a few days ago it became a reality. Hotels across the Kingdom received letters informing them that they were no longer allowed to sell alcohol. One star and two star hotels. Cheap hotels. Hotels that cater to the less than rich. So, it's fair to say, Bahrain hates poor people. 

First of all, assuming that the only sleaze in Bahrain exists in cheap hotels is the equivalent of assuming that only cheap cars pollute, or that only poor people fart. It's fucking ridiculous. All the three, four and five star hotels are rife with sleaze, but it's expensive sleaze. And banning alcohol in one and two star hotels unfairly discriminates against the less successful or financially prudent. For now at least. It has been made clear that the same rules will apply to three and four star hotels in the near future, which essentially means as soon as the formula wahid circus has been and gone. 

Which leaves the five star hotels. Now, according to the all-wise Ministry, only rich people are allowed to drink. Poor and middle class people in Bahrain should either stay at home and shut up or go somewhere else. They aren't welcome here, not if they want to, y'know, socialize. We may need them to build our shiny, upcoming future kingdom, but we don't want them to have any fun while they're doing it. That'd be haram. 

These letters took many by surprise. The employees of bars, restaurants and whatever else have no idea whether or not they have jobs. During a recession no less. There is no recourse. No appeal. No explanation, other than that Bahrain wants more 'family tourism'.

In absence of warning, it's fair to assume that the majority of one and two star hotels face uphill struggles to avoid ruin. So the only family tourism that Bahrain cares about is rich family tourism. Families that can afford no more than one and two star hotels, well they're not welcome here. We don't take kindly to them folk. Why not be clear? It's not family tourism we care about, it's rich people. People with gold cards. People who are willing to shell out for the characterless luxury that Bahrain has to offer. Everyone else can go straight to hell. Cause we're Islamic 'n stuff, and poor people are, umm, haram?

It is a ridiculous situation. Last month the Parliament said they wanted all alcohol moved to hotels, and only hotels. Last week the Minister of Info-Cult said they wanted all alcohol out of hotels. What the hell? By utterly failing to regulate the 'tourism' industry in Bahrain we are left with absolutely nothing. The sad thing is, the one and two and three and four star hotels that are no longer allowed to serve booze or hire female 'singers' will still be the dens of immorality they always were. The whores will serve drinks in teapots in coffeeshops while the places that actually catered to the utterly bored expat population in the Kingdom fall by the wayside. 

It was my understanding that tourism was no longer under the control of the Ministry of Information and Culture. That's what we were told. We were promised an all-new tourism authority that actually knew stuff about tourism. Instead, in a blatant attempt at power grabbing, we've been subjected to the 'Minister knows best' doctrine that has failed us time and time again. 

What does this irrational behaviour do for the reputation of Bahrain? We've spent millions marketing ourselves as cosmopolitan and progressive in desperate attempts to divert people from our shinier, happier neighbours. And when the precious foreigners with fat wallets get here and consider buying those expensive, pointless high-rise properties in Juffair we turn around and tell them to piss off. What a brilliant way to dig ourselves out of a recession. The lack of thought is startling. Shouldn't something with consequences as far reaching as this have, y'know, a plan or something, or at the very least, a process?

The Bahrain of old is officially dead. This is the new Bahrain, where liberties and personal freedoms are damned in the name of subjective morality and 'family tourism'. The all new, elitist Bahrain, where friends of ministers can get as drunk as they like in overpriced five-star hotels while everyone else sits at home wondering why the hell they moved here in the first place. The 'improved' Bahrain, a place where progress is raped and hypocrisy is all the rage. The 'democratic' Bahrain, a place where common sense is discarded in favour of misplaced idealism; an island where religious, racial and class discrimination shape public policy. 

In our futile attempts to become the Monaco of the Middle East we've ended up more like the retarded offspring of North Korea and Texas. Everything anyone ever loved about this Kingdom is being destroyed systematically, but it's all okay, because we have Formula One. 

I hate the new Bahrain. And since I have an opinion, the new Bahrain obviously hates me too.