Sin City

Did you know that Manama, the capital of our allegedly perfect Kingdom, came in at number 8 on a top ten list of sin cities compiled by that utterly pointless portal askmen.com last year?

The parliament, the elected guardians of righteousness that they are, were up in arms. Despite the fact that it was never reported in our local media. Al Arabiya covered it. But not the GDN. But we all know that the MP's, in their noble efforts to scour the Interweb for impropriety and their next holiday destination, stumbled upon this information in it's original context, right after checking out some celebrity bikini pics and just before logging into expedia to book their next getaway to Pattaya. (for research purposes, obvioulsy). 

Askmen.com was blocked for a while by our ministry of whatever the hell they call themselves today. Because, as we all know, asking men anything is likely to yield filthy, improper, regulation violating results. But then the unblocking fairy cast her magical wand and presto.

So what? We should be happy. Its free press. It might not be the type of press we need, but we didn't have to pay shedloads, like we typically do on CNN or wherever it is the EDB thinks we should advertise tomorrow. It's no worse than the press we get for being a culture of tyrannical censorship Nazis. It's definitely no worse than the press we get for trying to ban Alco-pork or whatever else the Parliament deems improper this week. 

And it should attract a few people to Bahrain, which is what we're going for, right? I mean, F1, the Spring of Culture, and ummm.. F1. They're all designed to make Bahrain more international. More tourist friendly. And ultimately, richer. Sin does that too, but more than just once a year. 

The islamist MPs have apparently demanded strict action against 'sinful activities'. According to Gulf News (because the GDN has better things to do than, y'know, actually report the news), one of the MP's has been quoted as spewing this little nugget of goodness: 

”We are shocked to know that Manama has been ranked eighth among [the] world’s top 10 ’sin cities’. It is a very sad situation for our country that prides itself on its political and human rights records because we wanted Bahrain to rank among the top countries in political, social or economic achievements. Now we need to tackle the issues of prostitution and other immoral activities that have vastly undermined our reputation,” one of the MP’s said.

'Now we need to tackle..." He says. Now. Yeah, because until a website that no-one really cares about told us about our little 'problem' it didn't exist. And only 'now' have 'prostitution and other immoral activities' emerged and 'vastly undermined our reputation'. 

What other immoral activities is this quoteworthy peer speaking of? Perhaps it's the collective litany of wrongdoing that everyone but him is guilty of. You all know the list. Alcohol is likely to be right at the top, and not because it begins with the letter A.

And what is this reputation of which he speaks? Bahrain, for as long as anyone can remember, has always been known for its sin (in fact, it's one of the Kingdom's oldest industries..). It's just not published on an pointless web portal. So this reputation is the reputation that has served Bahrain so well for so long. It's the reputation that makes people believe we are more tolerant. And above all, it's the reputation that drives a massive chunk of our tourism industry. We might not want the tourists to do the things they come here to do, but they come here to do it. At least we should be grateful for that, shouldn't we? 

No, I don't think we should. But what other tourist industry do we have? F1 is a race, not an industry. Weekend shoppers are weekend shoppers and nothing more. There is nothing, not one solid, year-round feature that serves to attract the loose-walleted liberals to our Kingdom whenever they see fit to get away. Nothing besides sin that is. 

So bitch and moan all you want. Prostitutes will be rounded up and shipped off, but more will arrive to replace them. Waste your pointless time on pointless endeavours because you aren't happy with an opinion on a website. To fix a problem as deeply institutionalised as prostitution, you'll need a plan. Not words. An actual plan. With words and pictures and graphs and stuff. If it's a compitition between sin and your sense of moral indignation, who'd you think will win Mr. MP?

It is a very sad situation for our country that prides itself on its political and human rights records...

Yup, it is a sad situation. We pat ourselves on the back as often as possible thanks to our political and human rights records, even though we don't deserve any praise. Political records? Are you serious? Yeah, we might have a parliament elected by the people, but what good have they managed to accomplish? Democracy in action is a string of nonsensical quotes followed by a great big holiday, and nothing more. And human rights? Yeah, we really pride ourselves on our human rights. Don't do, say or think anything that might be construed as immoral or you'll be damned, arrested, deported or all of the above. Don't use the Internet, phone or anything else for anything that might get you in trouble, because big baba is watching from way up high, somewhere in Isa Town. 

...because we wanted Bahrain to rank among the top countries in political, social or economic achievements.

Because we wanted Bahrain to rank among... Because we WANTED?!? Yeah, and I want a yacht. But I cant have a yacht because I cant afford a yacht. And I cant afford a yacht because I haven't earned enough to get a yacht. Wanting gets you nothing. So this is what MP's do all day... sit, eat and want. And when what they want doesn't happen, they complain. And then they wake up tomorrow and want something all over again. 

If you really want Bahrain to rank among the top countries in the laughably vague categories you speak of, do something to make it happen. Or better still, don't. Because everything you have ever done has ended in tears of laughter, groans of frustration or demonstrations of world-class stupidity. If you really want Bahrain to make it into the top ten lists you care about, stay home and shut up, or at the very least, take a few minutes out of your precious day to THINK.

Okay, I'll admit, I'm just ranting. If I had a point its been lost in the agitation. I hate the faux moral outrage. I hate the pretence of shock. I hate the fact that everything that is said by the people elected by the people makes me cringe or laugh. And I hate that they think that they can fix things by whining and nothing more. Is this really the best we can do?